Friday, July 11, 2008

Happy Dance!


It was something I feared would happen for years. It was something I dreaded and worked so hard NOT to allow it to happen. I fought against it and never realized how miserable it made me.

But as of about noon on Thursday, July 10th, it was officially and legally declared that I am now a single woman. I never knew how absolutely relieved I would feel. I'm free from the bondage that had me for so long. On the surface life looked good. I fought the good fight and did everything possible to force the marriage to work....but it didn't.

In the end, I can look back with no regrets. I wasn't a perfect wife. In fact, I became quite a shrew in the past few years because I was tired of fighting to make something happen that just wasn't going to work. I tried to force Mike into a role he couldn't fulfill--that of a good husband.

It's an old cliche, but marriage is a two-way street. I used to say to Mike in frustration, "Do you see that one of my legs is longer than the other? It's because I am dragging this ball and chain all by myself!" Well the shackles have been cut and the chains have fallen! (Can I get a "hallelujah!"?)

When I first got married, I was young and naive. Back then I thought I didn't have worth unless my marital status was that of "Mrs." Because of low self-esteem, I thought Mike was the best I could ever find. I wrote in my journal back then that I was actually mad at him because he wasn't my ideal man. Yet I married him anyway.

If and when I ever decide to marry again, it will not be because I need the man to define who I am. It will be because we have a mutual respect, friendship, and love for one another and want to join together in a true partnership.

For now, it's nice to revel in this newfound independence.

4 comments:

Caroline said...

Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!

Rhona said...

Hallelujah!! I'm so pleased that that ordeal is now behind you and you can look positively to the future. Thanks for the comments on my blog too - it's nice to know you're looking. Take care

Lisa Watson said...
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Lisa Watson said...

(Can I get a "hallelujah!"?) HALLELUJAH!! Keep looking forward now!!