It's Time for Me to Fly!

*Free Chick!*

"I'm tired of holding onto a feeling I know is gone. I do believe that I've had enough....I believe it's time for me to fly." - (written by Kevin Cronin, REO Speedwagon)


Tomorrow, July 10, 2009, marks the one-year anniversary of my Emancipation....from the heartache, worry, stress, grief, pain, anguish, dashed hopes and dreams of a failed marriage that I tried so hard to make work on my own.


Whoa, before I get too melodramatic here, let me say this this has been a FANTASTIC year! I have been more than abundantly blessed by God. My Jehovah Jireh (my Provider). I have no cause for worry. This past year has been a relief.


I wish I could say that I'm completed healed from my 20-year-old marriage crashing down but I'm impatiently learning how things take time even when we want to rush them along.


So last year at this time, the future was so BRIGHT for me (even through the pain). I made a list of the new hopes and dreams I had. But I've learned in the past year, sometimes we think we are going from Point A to Point B but may end up at Point C, something totally unexpected. How cool is that!?

I'm renewing old friendships and making new ones and feel so blessed at all the people I have in my life. I just became president of my company's Toastmasters club (who me?!) Life is constantly changing.

Sometimes what we think is bad can sometimes turn out to be really good.

Excuses, Excuses!

Okay, a real post this time! ;o) Em dropped my camera right before tax season and I feel lost blogging without any "real" pictures! Then she dropped HER camera I bought her for Christmas. As soon as it's back from repair (thankfully I forked over the extra $25 for the warranty), I'm stealing it from her and getting back into the groove!

This is the second weekend after Tax Day and I feel like it's finally a "real" weekend. Last weekend I was still out of it from exhaustion. I find myself in the place where I question myself. Where do you draw the line between relaxing and just being plain lazy! ;o)

At the end of tax season, my mind is full of plans for afterwards: projects, organizing, painting, cleaning, learning to like yard work. Then, it never fails, a few weeks after tax season ends, I find myself drained and lacking motivation.

Next weekend I am traveling to the Ozarks (a 4-hour drive from here) with a group of friends for a MUCH NEEDED scrapbooking retreat! We are renting a huge house on the lake. I sooooooo need a getaway in order to get back into scrapbooking mode. Plus a BIG bonus!! Jenn, one of my AOL scrapbooking loopies (we've been together as a group over 10 years) will be driving up to scrap with us one day. This will be the first time I have ever met one of my loopies, so.................. I CAN'T WAIT!!

Table Rock Lake in southwest Missouri

Okay, I'm getting my butt up from the computer and going to do something productive about here.

Stay tuned!!! (Oh, and thanks for reading, by the way!)

Heartbeat, Its a Lovebeat- Defranco Family

Ah, my 6th grade love, Tony Defranco! (This is where my love of Italian men started! LOL)

Beauty in Unexpected Places

We have been having some beautiful spring weather here in Missouri lately. But our motto is, "If you don't like the weather in Missouri, stick around--it will change!" I should know better than to get excited about good weather so early in the season.

Sure enough, I awoke Saturday morning to rainy, damp, cold weather. I went out into the sunroom and was pleasantly surprised with this sight! I bought this plant last summer. It has survived all winter despite my neglect (I think I've only watered it three times all winter!) The pot had even turned over on its side.

This was a gentle reminder to me that life can take us by surprise. We can't always go by what we see on the outside. Outside it was rainy and cold, but inside, new life was blooming, even in a place where it was unexpected.

Happy Spring!

Moving Forward

For several years now, the phrase, "move forward" has come to mind often, especially when praying about various situations. Those words were vital to me when I was caught trudging through life in the months right before and after my marriage ended. My relationship with God is the only thing that propels me forward as I cannot do this alone.


Life seems to be flying at me double-speed these days (mainly good things, thankfully!) I see dreams coming true and am learning it's all in the attitude. Proverbs 23:7 says, "...as a man thinketh, so he is in his heart..." I have learned the truth in this! You ARE what you think! I see doors opening before me. In the past, I would hesitate and wonder what was on the other side? What if I made a mistake? What if I failed? It was safer to stay where I was. But staying in the same place makes one stagnant. I have to move forward. I have to take the chance.


When I face those mountains that loom ahead of me in life, I hold my head up and move forward. I'm not looking back. I'm not standing still. There's no place to go .... but forward.


It's funny how a simple conversation can point you in the right direction. Several years ago an old friend mentioned that he wanted to visit Mt. Everest. Interesting to me because, at the time, I had never given that part of the world any thought before. Soon after, I heard someone speak about Nepal (where Everest is located) and my heart was captured. I started to think this was not a coincidence. Actually traveling to that part of the world (albeit Bangladesh) confirmed what my heart was telling me. These were my people! That same friend mentioned he then wanted to go to Bhutan. "Where??" I thought (and was embarrassed to see that Bhutan was just located 2 hours north of where I had been in Dhaka).

Thanks to modern technology and my Facebook obsession, I now have a friend and future tour guide in Bhutan, my cool friend, Karma! Check out his website. http://www.go2bhutan.com/ It really is a small world after all.

Moving forward.....

Authentic

Get real.

That's what I want.

That's what I crave.

I've noticed that some people are afraid of authenticity. It's much easier and comfortable to stay where they are, in their own little, safe box labeled, "complacency."

I have found that some people get angry at me for wanting to be real. Some people run away. Some people cannot bear the thought of change.

But I can't stay there anymore. It's suffocating.

Life is too short.

I want what's real.

I want what's true.

Happy Valentine's Day, My Friend!

Do you remember grade school? Valentine's Day was a BIG deal. We would spend weeks (it seemed) decorating shoe boxes with construction paper, paste, colored paper, hearts, doilies, candies, foil, and whatever other cool media we could find. Then we would sign scads of Valentine cards, carefully seal them in mini envelopes and address them to our classmates and friends. The party was so cool! Passing out the Valentines was fun but it was even more exciting to get home and open each one received.


But then....puberty arrives and suddenly a fun holiday has shifted from that of friends to that of feeling pressured to have a "sweetheart" at an age when I still thought most boys had cooties. Not to mention, if I did like a boy, I would rather DIE than let him know my true feelings!!


So since I have been about 13, I haven't liked this holiday very much. Even when I had a true love, I always felt sorry for all the single people out there who were meant to feel like losers for being on their own on this holiday of supposed love.


Even during the years of my marriage, I suppressed a bitterness because marriage was not what I had imagined or expected it to be. Sure I received the obligatory flowers and candy, but decided I would rather have nothing rather than a reminder of what was missing in my life.


So now, I'm past the divorce and experiencing such a relief and freedom in my life and I have declared that THIS Valentine's Day I am changing my attitude. I'm going back to grade school in my thinking...excited about sharing a fun holiday with my friends. No pressure. Love is fair and love is equal and love is cool.......for everyone, no matter if you have a sweetheart in your life or not.


I hope YOU have a wonderful Valentine's Day, no matter how you celebrate!!