I've been pretty much a calm, cool, and collected person all my life (I think I get that from my dad.) I'm always the one who tells people to calm down, chill, relax, take a deep breath. It's funny how the tables are turned and I can't even take my own advice. I have never felt such an incredible, insatiable rage inside me. Don't worry--I'm not gonna go postal and kill people! But it's a bitter anger that churns and burns deep inside me. One moment, I'm feeling quiet and restful, and the next thing I know, the smallest thing will wake the anger monster in me. It's become a cycle. Anger....gradual settling down.....peace and forgiveness......then anger rears its ugly head again.
Last night I attended Joy FM's Night for Single Moms event. I cried when I pulled into the parking lot and saw hundreds of cars. God never intended for so many women to be raising their children on their own. I felt out of place, but then after awhile, I found myself adjusting to my new status and feeling like I had a lot in common with the hundreds of beautiful women that were there.
Ayiesha Woods was the first performer. She rocks! I loved her music before this all happened to me, so it was so cool to see her in person. She's so humble and has such a deep relationship with God. Even though she's single with no children, she spoke so many words of encouragement to me. I bought her CD right before they sold out! Also performing was Kim Hill. She's a divorced mom of two boys and also had a lot of advice and encouragement. I remember seeing Kim in concert when she opened for Amy Grant back in 1990 (remember that, Marty?) Then the guest speaker was Deidre Pujols, wife of Cardinal player, Albert Pujols. You can watch her testimony here.
It was such a good night. What a surprise to run into Joy and Holly from my church who are in almost identical situations as me. We stood in the parking lot, comparing notes, and praying for one another for about an hour after the concert ended! It's so encouraging to know that I'm not alone.
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10)