Lemonade Stand

I was in my old neighborhood the other day and drove down the street I lived on from ages 2 until 23. My mom lived there until she passed away 4 years ago. What a pleasant surprise to see a group of exuberant kids at the bottom of the driveway of the house I knew most of my life.

"LEMONADE!!! Pleeeeeease stop!" they shouted at me as I slowed down and grinned at them. I pulled over and asked, "Do you live here? This is my old house. I grew up here!" The 10-year-old girl who matched the dad and little brother up near the house looked at me in surprise.

I chose lemonade from their poster board menu. "Give her a crazy straw!" they all shouted to the concessionaire. I paid and was handed a purple cup of fresh-squeezed lemonade (complete with floating lemon seeds) and a blue swirly straw that was way too big for the cup.

"Have a nice day!" they shouted as I pulled away from the curb.

I sipped the lemonade as I drove back home, and a tear came to my eye. How many lemonade stands did we have throughout the years in that very same spot? We never could imagine any other family but ours living at 680 Hazelvalley. Now a new family with new kids has taken our place. What a refreshing feeling to "meet" the new tenants and see that they are continuing the tradition in the house that built me.

P.S. That was the best lemonade ever. :o)

Daily Making a Difference in My Life

I'm grateful for that boy genius, Mark Zuckerberg

What did we ever do before Facebook? :o)

What's Wrong with This Picture?

My daughters are going to their dad's tonight for their new blended-family Christmas pictures. I have lots of friends and family with blended families. This is not a new concept to me. It just feels really odd that my girls will be in a family picture without me!

I struggle with this perception: This man took a vow to be faithful to only me, till death do us part. He slept with numerous women while we were still married (all the while pretending to be the good husband). Now he skips off into the sunset with a new wife and family. Something is truly wrong with this picture.

And it's not just me. I see this happening in today's society all too often. People are throwing away their marriages with a casual toss at the slightest sign of boredom or problems. Where is the commitment? Are there none that are faithful and want to work out their problems anymore in this day and age?

Beyond Thankful

A scene from my early morning walk

Thanksgiving is fast becoming my next favorite time of year after Christmas. What used to be just a prelude to the big holiday season, has now become a time of reflection and gratitude for me, finding myself thankful even for the difficult times. I continue to be amazed at God's goodness and how He is turning a tragedy in my life right around into a most beautiful thing.

And why did I try to hang on so long to something that made me so miserable? Because change is difficult and requires us to stretch ourselves and move beyond what we are used to--even if it's uncomfortable, cramped, and suffocating in the little box of life we resign ourselves to.

The horizon before me ever widens as time moves on. And this inexplicable sense of liberty keeps expanding as I move forward. There is still much in me that needs to change, and I'm not disillusioned to think everything will be pie in the sky. I know there will be difficult times ahead. Such is life. But I like the view I have in front of me, and I'm looking forward to the surprises God has in store.

A Symbol of My Life

This is my "tree" that my ex's grandmother gave us in the last year of our marriage. It looked different then. It was tall, ugly, and gangly. I wanted to leave it out on the deck in the winter to die, along with my marriage. But I didn't. And the next spring, along with my new life, I hacked away at all the old crap. There was new growth at the bottom, and this is what it looks like 3 years later. A symbol of my life. Oh, and I love the tree now, by the way! And my life. :o)

You can see in the background the gangly ugliness of the tree in its previous life (and we won't talk about the guilt flowers from my ex when I had NO CLUE he was being unfaithful to me, but I digress!)

Let Me Eat Cake ;o)

Last Friday night, I enjoyed a delicious slice of my ex-husband's wedding cake.

Yes, you heard that right!

The wedding and reception were held at the couple's house so my daughters, in their beautiful bridesmaid dresses, brought home enough leftovers for us to host a small dinner party ourselves. As I stood in my kitchen and partook of the delicious chocolate and cream cheese cake (home made by the bride herself), I smiled and thought of how far I have come in these past few years.

In fact, as hard as it is to explain, I felt a sense of elation that my ex was remarrying. Even though we have been disconnected for some time, this day seemed to pronounce an even deeper sensation of liberty in my life. It makes no sense, I know, but I think someday I will see.

Forgiveness is quite a beautiful thing. It is indeed a gift from God as I never ever could forgive that man on my own. Harboring anger, resentment and the bitterness that stems from it only served to make me a miserable person. As time passed, I realized how much better my life has become as a single woman. This sense of liberty arose within me, a freedom like I never knew.

I remember talking to God several years ago, feeling so trapped in a miserable marriage, wondering, "Is this all there is to life? I made a vow, 'till death do us part,' that I will adhere to, but God, is this as good as it gets?" The simple reply I got and didn't understand at the time was, "Just wait."

I received my own proposal of marriage a few weeks ago from a lovesick man who just isn't my type. His affection is endearing, but makes me realize what an independent woman I have become. At one time in my life, I felt I needed a husband to make me worthwhile. I took the first best thing to come along, even though there were many flaws and it wasn't a good match. There was true love for awhile, but it was short-lived (on his part anyway) and it left me in the cold, wondering what in the world I had been doing.

So I celebrated that night with that sweet slice of cake, wishing my ex and his bride all the best in my mind (and lots of good luck to her!!)

The path before me opens ever wider. Unlimited possibilities are within reach.

Dreams really do come true, Cinderella, and they don't always revolve around a prince.

It's a piece of cake! ;o)